That quote may or may not be historically accurate, but according to legend it was uttered by a Supreme Court justice giving advice on how the American legal system works. Obviously this can’t be taken seriously since nothing new would happen, ever. We would never have gone to the moon, the Ipod wouldn’t be connected to everyone’s ears, and Lady Gaga would exist only in our imaginations. But you might want to keep it in mind when you are thinking about your wedding plans. We’re assuming that you have already ignored the justice’s wisdom and made the huge decision to join your life to someone else’s for keeps, so now it’s on to the other big items on the list. First and foremost is clearly the dress, an intensely personal decision that can be made on instant impulse or after months of agonized comparison shopping. But aside from the dress, in my experience there’s one thing a bride thinks about more than anything, especially on the day of the wedding.
Hair. It rarely cooperates, does it? No matter how much time you spend trying to wrangle it, it always seems to end up doing whatever it wants, photos and special events be damned. In this culture, only your weight gets more critical attention than your hairstyle in the constant hail storm of advertising and unsolicited self-help chatter. But as you look at all those magazines and on line photos of brides wearing their hair “just so,” keep your wits about you. Every time you see a new hairstyle and wonder how it would look on you, remember those are professional models with a phalanx of stylists working on them, and none of them attended a rehearsal dinner the night before where their future mother-in-law raised holy hell about some part of the wedding that was being done all wrong. Not one of those ladies in the photos is hung over, or stayed up all night making personal place cards. And the photographers are very skilled at flattering lighting and angles, as well as the corrective enhancements of post-production software. There’s no rain or blazing sun in that studio, and the only wind is from the gentle fans placed strategically to make the model’s locks look utterly fabulous.
Of course, there are ways to deal with this seemingly impossible challenge: professional help, intense amounts of product, industrial-strength devices. And sometimes the best solution can be drastic action: a fabulous Victoria Beckham bob or even a total color change. Changing up the situation atop your brain can be a great way to re-set a bad year or just gain a pile of confidence, but consider that it may not be in your best interests to make serious changes right before what will probably be the most photographed day of your life. It’s likely the only time when you will invite a near stranger into your parents’ house or your hotel room to spend hours making you look like someone else. Remember they work for you, and you’re the one who should make the decisions on how you want to look. And keep in mind that your future spouse fell in love with you the way you are, hairstyle and all, and may not be bowled over when you walk down the aisle with a completely different look.
Of course, it’s your head, your hair, your life, and your wedding. One bride kept repeating “I’m a real blonde!” to me when the evidence to the contrary was right there in her mirror. She had medium brown hair, and there’s no filter to make someone’s locks a different color in the photos after the fact. So if you want to look like a blonde, be blonde. Ditto for brunette, Emma Stone’s pre-”Spiderman” red locks, Nicki Minaj cotton-candy pink – whatever. But make sure it’s what you really want, because even Photoshop has limits. You’d be better off saving the trouble and just wearing a wig instead — as long as it’s not too windy.
So how about it? Did you make a radical hairstyle change, or stick with your standard? Any hair-raising (sorry) stories?