Tag Archives: mis/behavior

Dogs make better guests than groomsmen.

29 May

But really. What about this says “dog playground” to you?

No matter how much you adore your dog, or how well-behaved he/she is on a regular basis, there is just so much potential for catastrophe when you involve a four-legged family member in the actual wedding ceremony. Sure, it’s an outrageously adorable idea, and yes, if the pictures work, it will look great and people will “awwwwww” over it for years. But, emphasis on if.

Don’t get us wrong: Dogs are great. We love dogs! We are just not convinced (as some people seem to be) that dogs are people. Yes, both people and dogs can follow directions, to an extent, depending on both the person and the dog. Yes, both are capable of walking in a straight line. But honestly, one of these options is far more likely to stop for a brief territory-marking against one of your guests’ chairs — or worse, take an amorous interest in one of said guest’s legs. Granted, a photo of Bruno getting up close and personal with Great-Aunt Gladys’s left thigh would have its comedic value, but you have to ask yourself how much you want your ceremony to be a cause for giggles (and/or slightly offended family members).

And we admit we haven’t discussed it with them at length, but we imagine that dogs, like teenagers, don’t really have much interest in putting on fancy clothes and standing around for several hours. They’d rather be outside frolicking, or inside chewing on your new dancing shoes. If your puppy is such an integral family member that you couldn’t  possibly dream of excluding him/her from the whole shenanigan, then grab a big fancy neck bow and have your baby stand out front as the world’s most adorable greeter/usher. We promise it’ll be just as cute.

When it comes to puppies actually prancing down the aisle, though (god forbid they’re in charge of the rings), we’d like to adopt some great words of wisdom from the world of football: only three things can happen, and two of them are bad.

But go ahead! Prove us wrong! Anyone have a great dog-in-a-wedding story to challenge our doubts?

Keep the rafters out of reach.

2 May

Let’s say, hypothetically, you’re having your wedding at a fun seaside venue on the coast of an unspecified northeastern state. Let’s also say that the aforementioned venue has lobster buoys and various other aquatic items hanging from the rafters – you know, for culture. Now, we’re not all math experts here, but I’m sure you have some idea of what happens when you combine lobster buoys + tempting low-hanging objects + drunk guests + a celebratory mood. Hint: It may or may not seriously upset the management.

This is why scouting the property beforehand is always a good idea — even better if you try to see that property through the eyes of a drunk person. Better yet, just get one of your friends drunk and bring him or her with you as a test subject. Unless you are having a Mormon wedding (which I assume involves minimal alcohol intake), your guests are going to get tipsy. They’re going to look for something to swing on, or from. And if all the appealing dance partners are taken, and you managed to keep your venue free of “dancing” poles, their wandering eyes just may drift toward the ceiling. Toward disaster.

If there’s any doubt, or you have some especially wild cousins, you should probably seriously consider how attached you are to your deposit. Or just look for a place with higher rafters.

unless they're really good at jumping...

See, this is what we’re talking about. No way they can reach that ceiling without a ladder.

My Pinterest has more wedding tips!

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