I Just Want It To Be Perfect

Hope everyone really likes fuchsia!

Those of us in the 99% are always looking for ways to save money, especially when it comes to something as potentially expensive as a wedding. So it might seem like a great idea to ask your friend who sends out those cute hand-made Christmas cards to help with your invitations, or appoint your Martha-Stewart-wannabe cousin as your florist, right?

Wrong. No doubt your family and friends are lovely, skilled people, but they’re not hired professionals. It’s not that they couldn’t do a great job — we’ve seen plenty of weddings where Aunt Kathy baked the cake or the bride’s sister did the whole bridal party’s hair, and they’ve turned out fantastic. Most of us have very talented friends, and there’s no reason they can’t help us out with our weddings. It makes them feel more involved, it saves you from having to invite even more strangers into your life, and it can be a great wedding present, especially for those creative types who may not want to buy you yet another fancy set of knives.

BUT. The reason we hire people to build additions on our kitchens or repair our broken heels is because of those little things called contracts. When you’re paying someone to create all your flower arrangements, they’re agreeing to actually do it — and to do a good job. The expectation is that you’ll get your money’s worth — after all, they’re running a business, and they have a reputation to uphold. It’s in their best financial interest to make you the happiest bride in the county. Cousin Erica may love you and want to put together the best place settings you’ve ever seen, but when she gets the flu a week before the ceremony, you can hardly expect her to find you a replacement. And that’s not even getting into the tricky issue of creative license. You may think you and your friend the designer agreed on the perfect green invitations, but when they arrive, she’s decided they’ll really look better in lavender with Papyrus font. Of course, it’s not the end of the world, but you don’t want to spend your wedding day worrying about anything more than what’s absolutely necessary.

By all means let your friends and family help you out — you shouldn’t feel like you’re trying to control everything. You are not The Decider, and if you try to be, you’ll probably just make yourself (and everyone around you who wants to help) really miserable. Just make sure, if you’re outsourcing jobs, that your volunteer help doesn’t make like the Runaway Bridal Assistant and disappear two hours before the ceremony, with all your flowers and without any backup plan or even a spare vase with which to improvise.

Tags: details, friends, keeping it in the family, potential disasters, vendors, wedding, wedding planning